Sacrifices for Your Happiness
by DarkKitten666
Summary: Peter always follows Alice around, much to her dismay. One day in the country of Clover, however, she has had enough and tells him off. Tottering on the edge of how he feels and how he wants Alice to be happy, he makes a great sacrifice. Peter x Alice


**Welcome to yet another of my stories. This one is a simple oneshot that went a little long but I really could not break it up into chapters. I actually love it. It took me about a week to write it and another week to figure out if I should post it. **

**Also... about when I was over halfway done with my story, I decided to look and see if anybody had the same idea as this and I did indeed find a story. This made me hesitate in posting but really... I enjoyed writing this story so much that I feel I cannot deprive my precious readers of it. So here we are.**

**and another thing before I allow the story to start... The other story that I mentioned before was not my inspiration. It was, instead, a series of books that I read. The second book of the Tiger's Curse series. Good books... except the end. Did not like. So enough of my ranting and on to the story!**

* * *

His eyes fluttered open. Sweet relief swept over me when I saw this. A soft grin sprouted on my lips as I opened my mouth. "Peter, thank god you're awake. I have been so worried."

He did not react in the way I had assumed he would. I thought the man would be overjoyed to hear that I had worried about him. That the man would hug me, embrace me and tell me everything was alright now that he was awake. All he did was watch me for a moment with his deep red eyes before speaking. "And just who are you?"

"Peter, don't joke with me," I demanded. "It's so mean for you to act like this."

"You have no right to speak to me like that," he snapped, sitting up and glaring at me with cold eyes. Eyes that normally looked so warm and inviting... "I really don't know who you are."

My heart fell. I did this. This is all my fault. The doctor had said this was possible but I had always assumed Peter could pull through. He pulled through every time I had punched him in anger. This time however…

X~x~X

"_Peter, get away from me!" I yelled at the rabbit man. He was once again skipping his work just to follow me on my break. After the move to Clover he had become more worried about me getting killed or getting taken away from him, not that I was ever his to begin with._

"_But the land is still unstable, my precious pearl. I cannot leave you alone, you clumsy girl." The rabbit insisted, attempting to take my hand. I pulled away and glared at him._

"_Me? Clumsy?!" I was absolutely appalled. "I am perfectly capable of- AH!"_

"_Watch out, my dear Alice!" the rabbit cried out, catching me after I tripped over my own two feet. "It's dirtier out here than in the palace."_

"_Don't touch me!" I slapped at his hand before stomping away, he quickly followed._

"_Why can't you just love me back?" he asked, "Is it something that I lack?"_

_I muttered, irritated with him, "Yes. You lack a brain."_

"_I do not need a brain to know that I love you, my wondrous treasure." He jumped on me once more, wrapping his arms around me in what felt like a death grip. "Just being near you gives me great pleasure."_

_I was so angry that something inside me snapped. I have had enough of his attitude towards me. "Get off me!" I roared at the man. "I hate you! Just leave me alone, you- you idiot! I will NEVER love you!" In rage, I pushed him with all my might. He stumbled slightly, a pained expression on his face. He was easily able to regain his balance but… I watched in horror as the ground beneath his very feet gave out. His expression turned from pain to surprise and confusion. He was falling. The land of Clover really was unstable…_

"_P-Peter?!" I shrieked, watching him fall. I reached out but couldn't save him. It all happened so fast even he couldn't believe what was happening. He fell. It looked really bad as I watched from the unstable cliff. The earth continued to crumble where he once stood._

X~x~X

After Peter woke up, he was not the same. Rather than hugging and clinging, he shifted away from me. He would move away as if he didn't like being near me. He also seemed… angrier. Colder towards me. Before I could really ask him why he was being cold, he ordered me to leave. He insisted that he had work that needed done. Peter would _never_ say that to me. He would normally insist he didn't have work just to be _near_ me.

He left to work, much to my disliking. I felt he needed to rest more after what had happened. He said he was fine and left, brushing me off as if I were nothing. Eventually, my own shift began and so I started my duties.

A loud noise made me freeze. The sound of gunshots rang through the halls. Three shots were heard. Only one person would fire their gun in the halls of this castle.

"Peter!" I yelled, running through the halls to come across the Prime Minister standing over one of my co-workers. She was dead, but that didn't stop the man from putting yet another bullet in her unmoving body.

"You," he said, pointing at me. "Clean this up."

"W-what?" I asked, my voice hoarse with fear. His cold eyes were turned on me. Those eyes that were always directed toward someone else. Never me.

"You heard me. You are a maid, are you not? Clean up this mess."

"W-why did you kill her?" I sank to my knees as the blood created a larger pool around the body.

"Because she bumped into me with her disgusting germs." He spat, kicking the body. I flinched. "But do not worry. I have been ordered NOT to kill you. That is why YOU must clean this up."

"B-b-but I c-cant clean this up!" I was flabbergasted at his request.

"If you can't clean this up," he muttered, pushing his glasses farther up the bridge of his nose. "Then you are useless." He turned on his heel to leave. "I do not see why her Majesty would request that I do not kill you. You are absolutely useless."

"P-Peter?!" my voice echoed through the halls. They came unanswered as he disappeared from view. I could feel tears build up in my eyes. He wants me to clean this up?

"Alice?" I heard a female voice say. "Alice, are you alright?" it was one of the other maids. "I heard a commotion, have you been shot?"

"I'm…" I pause for a moment. Fine wasn't exactly the word I could use. No, I was surprised. I was scared. Confused… "fine…"

"I-I know you do not like blood so would you like for me to clean that up?" All I could do was stare at the corpse. What if Peter wasn't ordered to spare me? Would that be me right now? Would he shoot me and not even flinch?

I couldn't speak. No matter how much the maid beckoned me, I could not answer. I could hear more footsteps as more servants appeared.

"We must clean this up at once before the afterimages appear!" one shouted, beginning to wipe up the crimson liquid. I squeezed my eyes shut and looked away from the seen as a soldier took the body of the maid and dragged it along the floor, taking it away.

"I-I think Alice is sick!" the first maid called out, patting my shoulder.

"Everybody _knows_ that she is sensitive to such things." the woman cleaning the blood stated. "Who would have done this?" … _Who_ indeed…

X~x~X

"Could you get us another cup of tea, dear Alice?" the queen asked, gently touching my hand. I jumped slightly at the sudden touch and was brought back out of my own thoughts. Peter had refused the queen's invite for tea. This was unusual since I would be the one serving. I always did if I was on duty. Serving tea, after all, was much better than cleaning up bodies and blood stains…

"Oh, ah… Sure your Majesty. Right away." I fumbled with the teapot and almost broke the porcelain cup that I was trying to fill.

"You're shaking…" the queen muttered, taking my hands.

"I-I have plenty on my mind right now…" I admitted, putting her cup down on the table in front of her.

"Perhaps we should task you with something else to take your mind off of previous events?"

"N-no. I'm fine."

"We insist. Come with us."

"N-now?" Vivaldi did not answer but instead took my arm and lead me away. "B-but the tea!"

"We shall have another maid clean it up. Just come with us." For her to leave the tea while it was still warm? Was there something wrong? Did this have anything to do with Peter? No… couldn't be.

"We do not wish for you to leave our side while you are on duty." The queen said to me as she pulled me through the halls of the castle.

"What?" I was confused. Since when was Vivaldi so concerned about me and my job? Was there a danger somewhere in the castle? "Is there something wrong?" My question was left unanswered as we walked through the halls. Suddenly, she came to a stop. She turned and tucked me up against the wall.

"Be silent." She ordered, placing her hand over my mouth. I was excruciatingly confused. What could possibly… ?! A loud bang. I heard it. The loud bang of a gunshot. Again and again, it fired. With every small explosion I flinched. Deep inside, I knew… I knew who was pulling that trigger.

"P-Prime Minister! I haven't seen you this upset since before you brought Alice! Has something hap-" yet another gunshot.

"Do not speak that wretch's name to me," A man's voice spat. It was Peter… He shot yet again. "She is useless to me." I heard his footsteps as he walked away. I couldn't help but pull out of Vivaldi's grasp and run after the man.

"Peter!" I shouted, turning the corner. There I found a scene I never wanted to find. Two maids and a soldier were found lying dead in a giant pool of blood. It was everywhere. The walls were splattered with the crimson liquid. I could feel the blood drain from my own face at the sight. "Y-you shouldn't kill people."

The man before me twitched in irritation. He refused to turn around and look at me. "Get this mess cleaned up, maid," He ordered this. His voice was cold. "Or is the outsider too _special_ to do the dirty work?"

My nostrils flared in rage. "I- umph!" Vivaldi pushed me aside and stood in front of me as if hiding me from the man. He still did not turn.

"White, don't you have work to do?" The queen asked. She seemed to be on guard.

"I'm sure I'm not the only one," he grumbled bitterly, turning on his heel. He stormed away leaving me and the queen alone. Everybody seemed to be acting odd. As if there was something they weren't telling me. Especially Vivaldi…

"We must ask of you to stay away from White." Vivaldi said, breaking the silence. She didn't even look at me but took my hand and began to drag me away once more.

"Why?"

She paused for a moment. "He… he is not in his right mind and could be extremely dangerous."

"But…" I blurted out. "Shouldn't he fall in love with me again even with his memories gone?" Everybody in Wonderland falls for an Outsider like me, so he should become normal once more, right?

"That might be true," she sighed, "however, we would rather not take the risk."

I chuckled under my breath. "Do you really think Peter could be a danger to me?" I received no answer. Instead, her grip on me tightened as she increased her speed. "He wouldn't shoot me, would he?"

… _Would_ he?

X~x~X

It was my break. Although Vivaldi suggested I stay away from Peter, I just couldn't help but worry. It was also his break so I knew I wouldn't be getting in the way of anything important. The problem was actually finding the man.

"Peter?" I called out in the large halls as I looked for him. My voice echoed through the halls but was met with no response. I stopped the first maid I found. "Have you seen Peter?" I asked.

"Fortunately, I have not. I'm sorry," The maid responded before rushing off to continue her duties. I huffed angrily. Normally, Peter would search me out. This was getting ridiculous.

"Have you seen Peter?" I questioned a passing soldier.

"Ah, yes, actually. I saw him enter the garden not too long ago."

"Oh, thank you! I shall go see him at once." I turned on my heel, but my arm was caught before I could leave.

"Would you like for me to accompany you?" he asked. "The queen has-"

"No, no I am fine," I reassured. Although I said that confidently, a part of me doubted that. Everybody seemed to be worried that he would hurt me…

"Very well," the soldier sighed. He then bowed and wished me safe travels before returning to his rounds. I went to the garden to find the white rabbit.

Although I had been living at the castle for so much time the maze still perplexed me. I found several area's within the rose hedge maze that I had never gone before. Peter seemed to be nowhere to be found. I remembered that whenever I was lost in this maze, Peter could always find me, no matter what. Even if I was using the maze to hide from him, he would still find me. Now I felt completely lost and wished Peter could find me rather than having me stumbled through the garden just hoping to find him.

I eventually came to an opening in the maze with a gazebo and a large tree. This is a place I haven't been before in the maze. It was quiet. I scanned the beautiful area, taking in the aroma that the roses produced. My eyes froze on a person who was sitting under the tree. A certain white rabbit.

"Peter?" I asked. His red eyes glanced up at me.

"You?" he questioned. His face scrunched up almost as if it disgusted him to see me. "What are you doing here?"

"I was looking for you," I answered honestly. "What are you doing here?"

As I took a step closer, the rabbit man flinched. "Don't come any closer!" he growled. "Surely as an Outsider you are covered in 'outsider germs'. They're even worse than the ones found here."

"I'm sure they are all gone," I reassured. "I've been in Wonderland for a while now."

"I do not remember seeing your face before the moment I woke up with you in my face," he muttered blankly. I sighed heavily before walking closer to the man and sitting under the tree with him. "W-why do you sit here?! Y-your 'outsider germs'!"

I laughed. "With how murderous the people here are I'm sure your germs have murdered mine."

"I-I don't have germs!" the rabbit man growled. "I am clean and pure."

"I don't get it. You weren't afraid of my 'outsider germs' when you brought me here."

"Brought you here? I did not bring you here. I do not remember such an event."

"It seems you have forgotten everything about me…" I frowned and began twirling my hair with my finger in boredom. "But you did bring me here, Peter. You snatched me up from my garden back home and dragged me down the hole."

"I FORCED you to come here? To Wonderland?" he questioned, eyebrows furrowing. "That is against the rules! I would never do-"

"You said you loved me."

"… Love?"

"Yes, then you made me drink the medicine of hearts." I took the small bottle from my pocket and showed it to him. "I refused to drink it so you forced it down my throat by a… a kiss."

"A KISS?!" Peter howled, jumping up from under the tree. "I pressed my lips on yours?! I took on your disgusting 'outsider germs'?! No! NO! I would never do such a thing!" His eyes narrowed at me. They looked so cold… "I remember no such thing so it never happened. I do not know you and you do not know me. Why do you bother me so?"

"Because," I explained, "we are friends."

He scoffed, "Friends?" he leaned against the tree and mumbled to himself. "I do not NEED friends."

I sighed at the man and shook my head. I would never understand his way of thinking. He remained silent as if he were deep in thought. In the silence, I closed my eyes. The images of my sister and those wonderful afternoons filled my mind.

"This place…" I muttered, breaking the silence. "It reminds me of the time I spent with my sister back at home." I listened as the wind rustled the leaves within the tree above me. I opened my eyes before continuing. "I always cherished those Sunday afternoons I spent with my sister."

"Sunday… afternoons?" Peter asked.

"Yes. We would drink tea and have snacks and read books under a big tree much like this one." I smiled at the memory.

"Why didn't you return home to your sister?"

"I… I'm not sure." I chuckled nervously. "I really like my friends here. I guess I couldn't abandon them." I paused for a moment. "You always asked me not to leave. That I can only find happiness here. That I…That I should not… remember…"

"Remember…?"

"I-I'm not sure. I-" my breath got caught in my throat. What was I not supposed to remember? Did it have something to do with my sister? I clutched my head. Why does it hurt? And why can't I remember? I tried to think harder about what I had forgotten but my headache only got worse.

"Alice?" a voice asked me. I was too far gone to actually realize who was calling my name. "Don't remember." Why? What was I supposed to forget? "Snap out of it!" Who was that, anyway? Was it… Peter? Where is… Peter? Is he alright? "ALICE!"

I woke with a start. It seemed I had fallen asleep under the tree and had a bad dream… right? I couldn't remember… Finally my eyes focused and I could see a face. Peter's face. He looked right at me, his face inches from mine.

"Peter..?"

"You… had a bad dream…" he muttered slightly. I could feel his breath on my face. He was hunched over me as I lay in the grass under the large tree. Did I have a bad dream? It seemed I had already forgotten what it was about.

"What are you doing?"

He frowned. "Her Majesty would be worried." Right. I guess his memories aren't back yet. At least his eyes were not cold and murderous as he looked down on me. There was no movement as he studied my face, hovering over me just inches away. Then, a thought filled my mind. What if… A kiss would bring back his memories? It seemed… possible. A kiss could wake the sleeping princess so why not wake the memories of a lost rabbit? I bit my lip, weighing the pros and cons of a kiss with Peter and decided that one little kiss couldn't do any harm. Before he could realize what I was doing, I reached up and brushed my lips to his. It almost felt like a spark when our lips met… But in an instant, the man jumped away.

"It burns!" he hissed, gagging. He held his throat. "Witch! Why would you do such a thing?!" I could hear the rage building up in his voice. He didn't get his memories back from that.

I sat up. "I was hoping it would bring back your memories."

"Your germs, they burn. You are a dirty, germ covered Outsider." In an instant, he grabbed his gun. "I should end your very existence before you kill me with your disgusting bacteria."

"P-Peter?!"

"I hear voices, who is there?" someone asked, stumbling out of the bushes. The rabbit eared man quickly turned his gun to the intruder.

"Ace!" I called out, both relieved and scared upon seeing him.

"Oh, well if it isn't Peter and Alice. Having a secret rendezvous here?" he chuckled. "Did I ruin the mood?"

"You are a true idiot," Peter spat, pulling the trigger. The knight quickly jumped up and dodged the bullet, ducking behind me.

"Now, now. You wouldn't want to hurt Alice, would you?"

"DIE!" the angry rabbit roared, pulling the trigger. Ace pushed me over, just barely dodging the bullet. I hit the ground, scraping my elbow.

"Hey! That one almost hit Alice!" Ace shouted out. He pulled his sword.

"I was going for a two for one." The rabbit said blankly, aiming at Ace. He pulled the trigger but the knight was easily able to block the bullet with his blade.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Ace!" I called, "Peter has lost all his memories of me! He-"

"Be quiet woman, you will be next!" Peter growled, shooting at Ace once more but he blocked it. "Or would you rather die now? Your voice is so shrill, it gives me a headache." His gun turned towards me. Was he really serious about this?

"P-Peter…" I stammered. My entire body was shaking. This wasn't Peter… this was a monster. He was ready to pull the trigger. I forced my eyes shut, waiting for my life to end. It was all my fault after all…..

The bullet never came as I heard a loud thump. My eyes popped open to find Peter's gun chopped in half and Ace standing with his sword to Peter's neck.

"I do not know what kind of game you are playing, PM," my savior stated. His blade began to dig into Peter's flesh. "But I won't let you kill the Outsider."

Peter laughed bitterly. "You two belong with each other." It was like poison the way he said it. "You can both be disgusting and germy together." And with that, he jumped away, running into the maze, defeated.

The knight who saved me sheathed his blade, a look of confusion crossed his face. "I-I don't get it."

I stood up and dusted myself off before checking my scraped elbow. "He has lost his memories of me, Ace."

"Well we should probably get that cleaned up…" he muttered, pointing to the bloodied scrape. "If he gets his memories back, he would surely kill me if I didn't clean it."

I frowned. "I don't know if he will ever regain his memories."

"How about you tell me everything that has happened while I clean this up and bandage it?" the knight proposed. I nodded and began to explain from the beginning were Peter had fallen… because of me…. And how he woke up without his memories.

"How long has it been since that happened?" he asked as he finished wrapping my cut.

"That would have been about… four time changes since he woke up... " I guessed, counting on my fingers.

"That's weird." Ace said, his eyebrows scrunching up in a confused manner. As he said that, the sky turned dark as night took over. He looked up. "Looks like it's time to set up camp."

"What's weird?" I questioned. The knight had already started putting up the tent. "And the castle is right there. Do we really need to set up camp?"

"I think we should give Peter some space from our 'germs' so he can cool off. He seemed pretty upset." I was surprised at how he came up with a somewhat reasonable explanation to camping even though we were in the maze. I decided to help him set up the tent. I didn't want to sleep out in the tent but I also didn't want to get killed by Peter while I slept in my bed.

"You said he lost his memory of you, right?" he asked, putting the finishing touches on the tent.

"Yes," I clarified once more, entering the tent. Ace was right behind me with the sleeping bags.

"Only memories of you?"

"I-I guess so?" He gave me my sleeping bag and rolled his out. The knight then turned to me and sat, watching me. What exactly was he getting at?

"And now he acts cold toward you?"

"You saw it with your own eyes, Ace! Did he act coldly toward me?!" this was getting on my nerves.

He chuckled which slightly frightened me. "Obviously you do not understand the way a heart in Wonderland works."

"Of course I don't!" I snapped, glaring at him. "To have a clock as a heart absolutely doesn't make any sense!"

"It does here." the knight muttered, taking my hand. "And our clocks are different from your heart."

"That much I could have told you." I grumbled under my breath. I pulled my hand away from the man.

"It's odd how a clock could just forget someone. Especially someone so precious to the person."

I sighed. "Why does that matter?"

"Even if he had lost his memory, his clock would still know you. He wouldn't be as cold as he was."

"I-I guess that would make sense…" I looked up at the knight. "What do you think is wrong with him?"

He laughed. "How should I know? I don't work on the clocks, I just gather them."

"Ace-…"

"I think his clock might be broken… Or, at least, not working properly." He laid back and looked at the top of the tent, resting this head on his hands. "Perhaps a gear is loose?"

"How would we fix something like that?"

"That's the thing. WE couldn't." he frowned and rolled over on his side looking away from me. He was irritated. He knew the one person who could fix a clock heart wasn't here. It irritated him that the clockmaker wasn't here.

"Then… what do we do?"

"I don't…" he paused for a moment, thinking. He then sat up quickly as if he had thought of something. "We could shake him up a little bit! Hope the piece falls back into place."

I knew what he was thinking. "NO," I disagreed. "You are not fighting Peter."

"Oh, but it would be fun." He said it with that wicked smile on his face. "I promise I would try not to kill him."

"If you have to try NOT to kill him then it's a stupid idea . So don't even think about it…" I grumbled, getting into my sleeping bag. "Good night."

"It's funny how you are no longer afraid of me when we are alone in my tent," the man chuckled. He then patted me on the head as if I were a child and slipped into his own sleeping bag. "Sleep tight."

X~x~X

When I awoke again, it was evening. Ace wasn't quite awake yet but I couldn't stay in the tent any longer. I should really get back to work since the castle is probably running short on staff at the moment… I still had another time period of break though. I sighed. What if I do go back to work and run into Peter? Would he kill me? Am I really safe living in the castle or do I have to leave the castle and live elsewhere? Where would I even go? If I go live at the other territories, would I be considered an enemy?

"Don't worry about it," Ace said, smacking my shoulder in a friendly manner. I jumped slightly as he pulled me out of my thoughts.

"What?" I asked. Did he read my mind or-…?

"It's written all over your face," he laughed, pulling my chin up so I would look directly at him. "Everything will be fine, so stop worrying."

"Don't you have someplace to be?" I asked snidely, looking away from him. He never really had anyplace to be and was always late anyway.

He thought for a moment. "Actually, I have not reported back to the queen in a while." He sighed heavily before adding "not that I really want to…"

"Come on, it's your job. You need to see her every once in a while at the very least."

"Sounds like you are volunteering," the man chuckled, a wide grin spread across his face.

"Volunteering?! What-"

"Well everybody knows that I wouldn't be able to find my way there so you just volunteered to take me there."

"I did nothing of the sort!" I didn't have time for that. "I-I have to get back to work!"

"If you had work, you would have already left." He had a point…

I groaned. "Fine, but you have to follow-…" he had already started to enter one of the thorny bushes. "FOLLOW ME!"

"But… I know a shortcu-"

"NO YOU DON'T."

"Aw, but Alliiiice," the knight whined as I took his collar and began to drag him away. He didn't fuss as much as usual as I pulled him along with me. Eventually, I found my way out of the maze and into the castle.

I knew Vivaldi would be found in the main chamber of the castle, sitting at her thrown. She was most likely signing some papers or something. When I entered the large doors, there she was sitting at her thrown on the balcony above signing papers.

"Ah, Alice…" the queen muttered, realizing I was there. I could see a being next to her fidget uncomfortably. I knew exactly who it was… and I refused to look at him. "And the knight too? We thought you had gone out to… explore the other territories."

"Well… Ace asked me to lead him here."

"He ASKED you?" Vivaldi asked. She seemed quite confused. "That is… very odd. But… we did wish to see the man. He is normally useless to us but we actually have something to ask of him."

"What is it, your Majesty?"

"We wish to speak to you…" she paused and stood. "… privately."

"I hope you don't mind," the man said darkly. "But I must refuse going anyplace in private with you. You are not my type."

"Do not make us shoot you, knight," the woman hissed angrily. "Now come quickly or we shall have your head."

Ace reluctantly left with the woman leaving me and… him. I could feel his cold glare on me.

"What are you still doing here?" his voice was dripping with hatred.

"I LIVE here," I scoffed sarcastically.

"You know what I mean," the man snapped, jumping off the balcony to the lower level where I stood. "You have no reason to still be in here, do you?"

"Why should you care where I am?" I stepped back as the man approached me.

"Because you are distracting me from my work."

I huffed angrily. "Then ignore me."

"I really wish I could but you are incredibly annoying." … ouch.

"Well I'm waiting for Ace." I lied. I actually had no idea why I stayed there.

"Ace? That oaf? Why would you wait for him?"

"You are so mean." I stared blankly at the man but I could feel fear building up inside me. If I make him angry, anything could happen. I needed to remember this is not my Peter…

"What? Sad that I am no longer your little pet?" he asked, pulling a gun out of thin air. "That I no longer follow you everywhere you go and follow your every whim?"

"I don't care if you follow me, but you shouldn't treat me like dirt. You shouldn't treat anybody like dirt. They are all equally as important as-"

"They are just faceless servants," he spat. "They are not important. And YOU don't even belong here, so, YOU are not important. I AM important." He pointed his gun right at me. I couldn't watch. I knew he wanted to shoot me and now… there was nobody here to stop him. I heard the click as he cocked his gun. I couldn't move. Even if I could I couldn't outrun him. He did have the best shot in Wonderland…

I waited for him to pull the trigger. It felt like time stopped as I waited for the pain. I was stupid to have egged him on but the man he had become was so infuriating to me. His lack of caring for life just pushed me over the edge. Finally, I heard the bang. I did not, however, feel any pain. My eyes shot open to find the man cradling his hand as his gun hit the floor several feet away.

"How dare you!" he hissed, looking up at the balcony. I followed his eyesight to find Vivaldi with a smoking gun.

"We told you NOT to touch Alice," the queen cautioned. "We should have your head for this."

"Eh?" Ace asked, entering the room and standing behind the queen. "Am I already failing my job?"

"Yes, you fool. Now get down there quickly," Vivaldi snapped. Ace then jumped from the higher level and walked up to me, scooping me up in his arms.

"I am now supposed to protect you," he informed me, chuckling. "So I'll be stuck to you like glue. Isn't that great?"

X~x~X

"Now, now, Alice. Why the long face?" the nightmare asked, floating into my dream to, I assume, escape work. It was yet another exhausting day of no success with Peter. I might actually have to leave the castle with how violent he was acting towards me. Ace has come to my rescue but that's only because the queen ordered him to be my 'body guard'. I really shouldn't use him more than I should. He has been acting strange since the move…

"Peter…" I muttered under my breath, not even wanting to look up at him. "I just might have to move out of the castle…"

"Why would that be? He shouldn't be bothering you," the lord of the Clover Tower said, somewhat confused.

"HE isn't bothering me," I confessed. "His ATTITUDE is."

His eyebrows furrowed as he watched me. "That doesn't make sense. He shouldn't even be able to stand being near you."

"W-what does that mean?"

"Exactly as I said. He shouldn't be able to stand being near you." The man before me took his pipe and smoked on it before blowing some smoke in my direction. "He gets anxious and nauseous in your presence."

"W-what?!" I shrieked, flabbergasted at his accusations. "Are you saying I'm-"

"Of course I'm not trying to imply that you actually do that to a person," he quickly interrupted me. "Peter asked for this, you know."

"H-he… WHAT?!"

"He wished for his memories of you to be taken away," the incubus began. "He knew you hated how he acted towards you. He even knew you hated him, so, to make you happy, he asked me to wipe his memories of you."

"Then why would being near me cause him to…" I broke off, not wanting to continue. This was wrong. That a man would wish physical illness on himself just to make someone else happy… it was insane.

"He knew that even with his memory gone; his heart would still know you and know that he loves you. It wouldn't have taken long for him to be back to his loving, possessive self." He sighed heavily before looking me in the eyes. "He truly loved you, you know. To have given up so much just for your happiness. I'm afraid would never do that."

I closed my eyes and looked away, unable to look at the sickly man. He was right. Peter DID love me, but this still didn't make sense… "And just why would you do that for him in the first place?"

"For your happiness, of course." he answered, slyly. A wicked smile formed on his lips. I didn't believe him. I'm sure he knew this would not make me happy. Nightmare does things only for himself, not for others… His face fell when he read my mind. "T-that's not-"

"You knew he would act like this toward me and you thought you could get me to move to the Clover Tower, didn't you?"

"No, of course not. Only you get to choose where you live. But why would you even stay at the castle if the rabbit annoyed you so much? Were you perhaps developing feelings for the man?"

"N-no, of course not. I-"

"I pitied the man," the incubus continued. "He worked so hard to earn your favor yet you still ignored him." My chest tightened at his piercing words. He floated right past my head as he spoke. "He did everything you asked of him. Sit. Stay. Don't kill. Do your work. He did more for you than you could ever guess." He paused for a moment. "More than I could ever actually tell you."

"How do I fix this?"

"Fix it? Why would you ever want to fix it? I thought you wanted him to leave you alone." He smiled that twisted smile once more. His grey eye fixated on me. "Your words burned deep into his mind, you know. While he was unconscious he was here thinking of everything you had said. What was it again?"

"Peter, get away from me!" my own voice echoed within the dream realm. My eyes widened in shock.

"W-what is this?" I asked, turning on my heel to try find the source of my own voice.

"Don't touch me!" I heard the voice once more. I couldn't find any source of the screams. Nightmare chuckled hollowly.

"This is what you said before he fell, dearest Alice. Don't you remember?"

"I-I did say those things but-"

"I hate you! I will NEVER love you!" my own voice burst out once more. I could hear the bitterness in my voice but… I never actually meant it. I didn't hate the man. He just… just annoyed me sometimes… "Just leave me alone." Alone? Is that what I wanted? To be alone? If that was the case, it worked. I was alone now more than ever. I could feel an emotion bubble up inside me. Hatred? No, I did not hate him. No. I- I relied on him. I needed him. He protected me so many times in the past and what have I done? Pushed him away. Now he is forever lost to me. Ace might be protecting me for now but my friendship with him was so frail as it was…

I could feel the warmth of tears pool up in my eyes. It WAS my fault that Peter did this. "Leave me alone." It echoed again. "I hate you."

"S-stop!" I yelled. The wet droplets fell from my cheeks. I squeezed my eyes closed and rubbed them, hoping the tears would stop. "Stop, alright! I-It's my fault, I get it! Just… m-make it stop…" When I opened my eyes again, Nightmare was gone. I twisted and turned to try to find the man, but he was gone. "N-Nightmare?!" I called to him, but I was alone. "Nightmare?! How do I fix this?!"

A small hard candy appeared in front of me, floating there as if it wanted me to grab it. It was covered in a deep red wrapper. As soon as I touched it, Nightmare's voice echoed in the dream world.

"I'm afraid have spent too much time with you, Alice… but I shall grant you this." I could hear his voice whisper this in my ear. "Have Peter eat the sweet and he shall remember everything. But think carefully. Is this truly what you want…?" and with that, he was gone. I took the small confection into my hand and clutched it tightly. I had to do this… for Peter…

X~x~X

I awoke with a start. Nightmare had said there was a way to return Peter's memory. All I had to do was-… But that was a dream… Why did I ever think that Nightmare could give me a cure for Peter? I clinched my fists and found I was clutching something very tightly. I sat up in the bed and looked in my hand to find the sweet that I was given inside my dreams. This… wasn't possible. How did I…

I shook my head. Why would it matter how? Even more impossible things have happened. I frowned. I knew that the most impossible thing was still to come.

"Alice?" a knock came to my door. I jumped in surprise. The voice was obviously Ace's, but how did he find my room? "Are you awake?"

"Ah… y-yes!" I answered, jumping out of bed. I ran to the door. "But how did you-…" I froze when I opened the door. Ace stood in the doorway with his tent set up outside, a fire going in the middle of the hall. "DID YOU CAMP OUTSIDE MY ROOM?!"

"Well I am supposed to protect you, you know," the knight informed me. "So if I go anyplace else, I might never find you or your room again."

I groaned. How does Ace get so lost? "Alright…" I muttered, hugging the doorway. "Ace, I need to see Peter today."

"No can do," he chuckled.

"W-what?" I croaked.

"I have orders to keep you away from him," the knight informed me. "So, I had planned to go out and explore with you."

"B-but I need to see Peter! I know how to get his memories back!"

"Wow, you really need a break from the castle, Alice. You're spouting nonsense!" he laughed at the girl.

"I am not crazy! Nightmare-"

"Nightmare? The caterpillar? What does he have to do with anything?"

"He told me Peter did this to himself, that-"

"Now Peter would never, ever, do something like this to himself. You must have been dreaming about seeing the caterpillar rather than actually seeing him." He took my wrist and began to pull me. "So come on. You SO need to get out of here. You're going crazy."

"O-okay, okay! At least let me get dressed!" I shouted, still wearing my nightgown.

X~x~X

Ace was not going to let me go find Peter. I had to do this without him then. I had planned to sneak out of my room after getting dressed. Ace, however, was waiting at my door.

"Let's go, let's go!" he cheered, ready to get completely and utterly lost with me. Probably where nobody could hear my screams.

"A-Ace! Wait!" I pulled out of his grasp. "I'm sorry but I really have to-…" I trailed off before turning on my heel and making a mad dash. I ran through the twisted halls, turning at every corner, just so I could lose him. If I could lose him, it would take him a while to actually find me.

I ran as fast as I could until I couldn't run anymore. I couldn't breathe and watched my back, hoping and praying that Ace was off my trail. Before I knew it, I had backed into somebody.

"Watch where you're going," the person barked. I looked up to find the one man I actually wanted to find.

"P-Peter, there you are!"

"You? What are you doing here? And why would you be looking for me?"

"I… I want you to eat this." I held out the candy that Nightmare had given me to the man.

"Why would I eat something so obviously suspicious?" he asked, eyeing the brightly colored wrapping.

"Because it will bring back your memories."

"That gives me even more reason not to want it," he muttered, crossing his arms over his chest.

"But-" I could feel my heart falling. I knew this would be an impossible task…

"Why would I even want my memories to return?"

"Because you don't-"

"I do not need you in my life to function, to do my work." He interrupted, flinging his arms into the air in anger. "Do you think that my memories would make me happy? You probably know they would only hurt me because of you. So I would never be happy if I remembered you, not that happiness truly exists here in Wonderland."

"What about my happiness?" I asked, shirking back. I could feel tears threaten to build up in my eyes.

"What about it?" he snapped bitterly. "I really couldn't care any less."

"Alice, there you are! What are you doing here?" Ace quickly pulled my arm, yanking me down the hall. Peter had quickly disappeared out of view.

"A-Ace, I had to-!"

"We're going camping. You need to calm down." His grip on my arm tightened as he dragged me. "I know you think this is your fault but you really don't need to take responsibly for it."

"But it IS my fault, it's ALL my fault. I need to tell Peter-"

"I'm afraid that you can't see Peter anymore. I'm sorr-"

"But I… I love him!" I cried out. Tears formed in my eyes. Why did I have to figure this out so late? Why…?

I let Ace take me out to camp. He didn't try anything after I admitted my true feelings. He didn't even laugh. He was actually very quiet as if he were lost in thought. It became night quickly but I wasn't even tired. I watched the flames dance as I thought deeply.

"Love, huh?" the man asked from the other side of the fire. This was the first thing he had said on this entire trip. I couldn't answer. It was a moot point. To get him to take the memory 'medicine' would be impossible. "Better late than never," he said, standing up. "Just tell me what you need me to do and I'll do it."

X~x~X

"Peter, just eat this candy," I ordered, stomping my foot. I held it out to him. I had decided to confront the man one last time, alone, before Ace came. We came up with a plan but there is no telling what could happen…

"Never!" he growled, smacking the candy out of my hand. "I'm not your pet. I will not do as you say."

"Dang it, Peter!" I tried to retrieve the small confection from the floor but the man grabbed my arm, pulling me away from it. "Let me go!"

"I cannot let you do that."

"I-I don't care what you want," my voice was shaking with fear. If I didn't do this fast, I might end up dead. But I was also afraid… if I did not do this now, it might never happen. "I know this if very selfish of me but… but I don't care."

His fingers wrapped around my neck, constricting my breathing. "I don't care what you want," he muttered coldly.

"P-Peter?!" I wheezed. His grip around my neck tightened. Was this it? Was he going to kill me? Where is Ace?!

"I'm late, aren't I?" the knight asked, appearing when I started pleading deep down for him to appear. Peter let go of my throat and turned to Ace, pulling his gun.

"I assume I need to kill you first," the angry rabbit growled, pulling the trigger. Ace dodged the attack and jumped at Peter, tucking the man's arm behind his back. He groaned in pain.

"I would be a bad friend if I killed you here, wouldn't I?" he then pulled the gun out of Peter's fingers and tossed it away.

"Friend? We were never friends!" Peter spat.

"I meant to Alice."

"Can you hold him still, Ace?" I questioned, holding my throat. It still hurt.

"I guess," he sighed. "Just do what you need to do fast."

I nodded and retrieved the small confection, unwrapping it as I approached the man. "Open your mouth." Peter refused to and shook his head. He bucked around trying to get away from his captor and away from me.

"Alice! Hurry up!" I froze. What could I do? He kept moving there would be no way to keep him from moving and to make him take his 'medicine'. I tried so hard to think of a way to give it to him. Every second I wasted was a second he got to getting away. Think Alice, THINK!

I popped the hard candy into my mouth. It was tasteless and bland. Ace looked at me confused and Peter looked on in horror, almost as if he knew what I was thinking… I took one hand and tangled it into his soft, white hair to hold his head still. With my other hand I placed it on his jaw and forced his mouth open just wide enough for what I was planning. He flinched in pain at my touch but I knew what I was going to do would hurt him even more like a burning acid. I planted my lips on his and forced the candy into his mouth. He gasped at the sudden feeling and kicked me away. I was afraid he would spit it out but all he did was choke and gag. Ace released the man as he puckered as if it were sour or perhaps bitter.

"Peter?!" I shrieked. He had fallen to his knees, grasping his throat as if he were choking.

Ace took my arm and pulled. "Stay away, Alice. Give him some room."

"B-but Peter!"

"Al… ice?" the man on the floor croaked, looking directly at me. After that he fell over and did not move.

"Peter!" I jumped out of the knight's grasp and ran to the man. What if what Nightmare had given me was actually poison?!

"He's breathing," the brunet mumbled behind me. "He must be unconscious."

"I hope… he's alright…."

X~x~X

He was unconscious for what felt like an eternity. If this didn't work, I wasn't sure what I was going to do. If Peter wasn't going to be there for me then I really couldn't stay in Wonderland. I needed him. If Peter didn't get his memory back, I would need to return home. Leave Wonderland. Forever.

With all the time he was out, it gave me time to think. To sort out my feelings. He was always right. Deep down, I really did love him. I did not want to let him go. He was always there for me when I was lost or alone in Wonderland. Back home, I had Lorina. I was happy to have her but… She couldn't always be there for me. She was just my sister. I had to grow up eventually. She didn't need to be taking care of me forever. This was better for her. She doesn't have to worry about me now because I am happy here, in Wonderland, with my friends and… and Peter.

I brushed the hair out of his face as he lay there, sleeping. His hair was so soft just like his fur in his rabbit form. I often found myself petting his head blankly or rubbing his ear. I was glad nobody else came to visit him. It must be selfish of me to wish that but I couldn't help but want to be the only one there when he woke up. I sighed heavily, and, after noticing I had started petting him again, pulled away.

Instead, I decided to do something else. I took his hand. He was still wearing those pure white gloves that he always did. I frowned, wanting to feel his warmth. I hesitantly removed the glove and cupped his hand in mine. His hand was much larger than my own as I wrapped it in my own two. If he woke up without his memories, this might be the last time I could touch him like this… To be able to feel his warm skin against mine.

"Please, wake up soon…" I whispered, pressing my lips to his long, slender fingers. "I can't take this waiting game."

"A watched pot never boils." A voice said. I blinked to find myself in the dream realm.

"No! Nightmare, let me go! I have to be with Peter when he-"

"You want him to wake up and see you in this condition?" Nightmare asked. "He would be upset." I frowned, knowing he was right. I touched the bags that had formed under my eyes. I couldn't sleep at all since he ate the candy. My body was completely exhausted.

"I-I can sleep after I know he is okay." I pleaded. "So please, wake me up."

"He will not wake up for a while, you know."

I looked at the man, frowning. "Why do you say that?"

"It broke more than his heart to remove all memories of you." The nightmare informed. "His mind wasn't exactly in the best shape. He woke up faster after the memory removal because… well… it IS faster to remove a bandage than to put it on."

"What do you mean?"

"Haaah… How do I put this?" he sighed heavily, thinking hard. "His memories were taken. Fast. Painless. It left gaps in his memories but because memories do not matter here, he didn't mind. Now that the memories of you are returning, they must go back and fit in like puzzle pieces."

I was quiet, letting his explanation sink in. It did make sense even though all of this was impossible. "Alright, I under-" I froze, hearing a very faint noise.

"…-lice?"I couldn't tell what it was saying but my heart jumped at the sound. Why? Who is there?

"He shouldn't be exerting himself!" said the incubus before disappearing.

"Ali-…"

"PETER?!" I shrieked. I knew that voice no matter how far away it seemed to be.

"Don't encourage him!" Nightmare's voice snapped at me. He was, however, still missing from my dream. "Now you know he is okay, will you sleep now?"

"No! I want to see him!"

"-ice?! Wh-… -re you…?!"

"Alright! Alright!" the leader of Clover groaned, popping back into view. With him came a ghostly looking Peter.

"Alice!" the rabbit man smiled widely. My own breath got caught in my throat. He ran to me and tried to hug me but went right through. He quickly turned back to me. I watched him carefully. His form was blurred and dull. Parts of him would even fade, slowing pulsating as if it was hard for him to keep his form here.

"I'm happy to see you one last time. But please do not worry, it will be fine." His rhyming was somewhat off. And what was this about one last time…? His form flashed as if it were going away.

"W-wait."

"He can't stay here forever, Alice." Nightmare informed me, placing a hand on my shoulder as Peter faded away. I could feel sadness take over my heart.

"What did he mean by-"

"He doesn't realize that he is getting his memories back. The time he spent without them isn't connected to the memories with you yet so he doesn't even realize that his memories had already left him."

"But-"

"Alice, relax, please. Just trust me. He is fine. Now rest, please. I promise I will wake you when his mind is ready."

"Why… are you doing this?" I asked, feeling the dizzy pull of rest begin to take me.

"For your happiness, Alice," he answered and this time, it sounded like he meant it. I closed my eyes, the world around me was turning dark. "I knew you couldn't see your true feelings until you thought it was too late…" and with his fading voice, everything was gone. I fell into a deep, dreamless sleep…

It felt like only an instant between the time Nightmare forced me to sleep to the point I awoke. I squeezed Peter's hand that was still within mine. What would I say to him when he woke up? Should I be mad? Upset? Happy? While I debated this with myself he stirred in his sleep. I could feel the slightest pressure as he gripped my hand gently.

I whispered his name. "Peter?" I really didn't want to wake him but part of me wanted him to just wake up so I would know he is okay.

"This… must still be a dream," he muttered, his eyes still closed. He squeezed my hand and took it between his two, completely engulfing it in warmth. His lips turned up into a beaming smile as his bright red eyes opened to look at me.

"Peter…" I was so relieved. I brushed his bangs out of his face. "This isn't a dream," I reassured him.

"But I wanted you to find true delight. The Nightmare said forgetting would make everything all right."

"It was a really bad idea, I assure you." I said blankly, remembering how much I hated it.

"I… I don't understand…"

"You lost your memories of me, Peter. It… it wasn't a good time."

"I don't remember-"

"It would probably be better if you didn't remember it..." I looked away from him. He would be very upset with himself if he remembered… My fingers brushed against my neck as I remembered…

"What happened there?" he asked, pulling my hand away to get a better look at it. It had bruised. "Who did this to you? I'll kill them, I swear!"

"N-no!" I shouted, pushing him back down on the bed after he tried to get up. "It doesn't matter anymore. Just rest. Please."

"I cannot rest easy knowing someone hurt you." He argued. His body was shaking with rage. "So please, just tell me who."

"I-"

"Tell me." He ordered, grabbing my wrist. "Was it that horrible knight? I could see him do it just in spite."

"It wasn't Ace."

"It must have been the hatter then. Either him or his despicable men."

"Peter, YOU did it." I finally confessed. It took a moment for it to register with him…

"Me?" he croaked. "That can't possibly be… I-" he squeezed his eyes shut, almost as if he were in pain. His hands shot up to grip his head.

"Peter, calm down. It doesn't really matter."

"Of course it matters, it matters a lot! If I really did that then I should be shot!"

"NO!" I cried, keeping him from reaching for his gun. "I-I can't let you do that!"

"I cause you harm and for that I must die" His voice was full of sadness and self-hatred. Tears began to pool up in his eyes. "I do not wish to make you cry."

"But if you die then so does my happiness!" I howled as his fingers twisted around his gun. He froze, dropping it to the floor. I kicked it away so it would be even farther out of his reach.

"What?" he asked. I looked at his face, tears streaming down his cheeks. I couldn't help but wipe away one of the stray droplets that began to slide down his face.

"I-I said that if you die, then so does my happiness. If you die, I will never be happy again." I sighed heavily before wrapping my arms around his torso, embracing him. He nearly jumped with confusion at my touch but I held fast. It was time for me to tell him. It was time for me to confess.

"Alice, what are you saying?"

"I-I love you, Peter. You always knew that but I couldn't see it until you were gone. I need you, Peter. I-I-…" I couldn't speak anymore. All I could do was hug him tightly, burying my face into his chest.

"Do not tease me with words like those." He tried to pry me off of him. "Although, I probably deserve it, I suppose."

"You're a real moron!" I growled into his clothes, not letting him go. "I confess my feelings for you and you brush them off as if I am joking."

"Well aren't you?"

"NO!" I roughly pushed him back down on the bed and climbed on top of him.

"A-Alice?!" the rabbit man blurted out. His face grew bright red.

"I am not lying or joking, Peter. While you weren't yourself, I was so alone. Without you I… I feel empty."

"C-could you get off me now?" he asked, blushing like a tomato.

"What? NO! Did you not hear me? I said I love you! You should be happy! Overly happy!"

"Oh, I am happy, I really am! I'm just…" he fidgeted under me. "This is terribly uncomfortable, my precious lamb."

I scowled at him. Uncomfortable my foot. I grabbed his ear and pulled it causing him some real discomfort.

"Ack! Alice!" he cried out. However, when I grabbed his ear, it gave him the use of his arm. He was easily able to turn the tables as he laid me down on the bed and climbed on top of me. "This is better."

"H-hey!" I could feel the heat rising in my own cheeks.

"Alice, c-could you say it once more…?" he questioned shyly. "Just say it again, that's all I ask for."

"I-I love you." I said, now fidgeting under him.

"Oh, what music it is to my ears." His face drew closer to mine until he gently pecked me on the lips. "Just hearing you say it clears away all my fears." He kissed me again for longer this time. He deepened the kiss hesitantly just to make sure he wasn't going too fast for me. I knew that was what he was doing. He was afraid to scare me off. But there is no place I would rather be than here. Kissing the man that I love.


End file.
